Reviving your marriage

Salam it's December again..and as usual both of us received lots of Wedding Invitation.

Both of us were married in the month of December too :-)

Today N3 is an article which I came across while surfing the net. I have a friend who is now in a dilemma as she felt that her marriage is falling apart. She confided to me recently that it is so hard to communicate with her husband " Mr Z" without ending with a fight. Sometimes she said they're not in speaking term for days... Susah tu husband & wife tak communicate.

To my friend "Nxxx" banyak bersabar and berdoa semoga rumahtangga kalian diberkati dan berkekalan.. Amin.

HOW TO REVIVE YOUR MARRIAGE
It is very sad to see so many married couples end up in divorce. It is no exaggeration to say that millions of marriages break down every year.

One marriage counsellor observed regarding those marrying today: "One-quarter will end up in the divorce court, while another one-quarter will keep their marriages legally intact for a variety of reason, but will get little satisfaction from them."
No marriage is exempt. In fact, your marriage may be experiencing turmoil right now.

So, what can you do to revive your marriage? How can you make it healthy once more?

In order to revive your marriage you must first acknowledge that there is something wrong with your marriage.

This is something that many couples fail to do and with not doing so, they find it difficult to see how they can be helped.

In fact, a mistake that many make is that they tend to be unrealistic and so are their expectations toward their spouse. They are influenced by what they see in movies, read from books and television dramas that are far from real life.

When their dreams do not come true, they feel cheated, bitter and unsatisfied.
Mental and emotional strain plus the difference in upbringing of each partner contributes to disagreements about everything - money, in-laws and children.

Communication is the most vital factor if you wish to revive your marriage.

Set the mood to have a heart to heart talk with your spouse. Prepare beforehand what you want to say and the points you want to make so that you will be able to do this in a rational and calm way when you sit down together.

Make it an aim to discuss differences and not attack one another.

There is an old saying: "Be fast in listening, be slow in talking and be slower in anger."

Express to your spouse how you feel. Be honest and open and if you feel misunderstood say so. Try to let your partner finish what they are saying before you speak.

Also, recognise that part of reviving your marriage may require changes.

It is not uncommon to hear a wife complains of how her husband has changed by not being the same romantic guy he used to be.

Or a husband saying that his wife is not the same sweet girl she was to him.

So reviving your marriage may require you to spice things up. To help you realize any of your shortcomings, look at your photos before you got married. This can put you in mind of how you have changed. By doing this, you may see how much you have altered, and this will help you to know what changes you need to make.

Develop more warmth and intimacy to find more pleasure in each other's company with your spouse. Most importantly make time to be together..

It takes a lot of work to bring about and then continue a successful union. Couples can seek advice from self-help books or from a marriage counselor as long as that is what you both want to do.